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JUST BREATHE
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D.I.V.A, 201089
The DIVA has spoken so read.

What i see what i do how i acted and reacted were the combined effort that had inspired me
— Nurul Farahdina

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Tuesday, June 16, 2009
White Threads

SAD.

My aunty called our hse yesterdae aftnoon. Her voice sound as if she had some flu. She told me to pass a msg to my mummy. But b4 she could sae anything i passed e phone quickly to my mum.

All i heard from my mum were: "Be strong, where is ur husband, bring her to e hospital"

Next thing i knew my mum left e hse in 10 minutes.

Turn out my baby cousin was admitted to e hosp. She was 1 yr.

While waiting i slept the whole aftnoon coz the dae b4 was my cousin's wedding...so we were all happy n tired.

Few hrs later when i woke up my sister told me tt emily was in a coma state n was critical. An hr later my dad came home frm werk n told us tt he sense something wrong n told us to chged our clothes n head straight to e hosp.

Hrs afr hrs while waiting....e doc called my aunty n her husband in n turn out emily chg of survival was very slim. So all we did was to prayed for emily. Its started off wif a stomach flu 3 days ago.

My aunty told me tt emily woke up early n play wif her bro n touched her hand n gave her my aunty her lil socks tt she was wearing then she called out :"Mama" n next thing my aunty knew her eyes look up to e ceiling n she fell backward n passed out...

Ard 8.25+pm at e A&E ward emily had passed away.

I could not believe it. I was there hoping for something. I saw e machine tt they used was carried out. My heart sank deeper. My dad called me in...he was holding my hand coz he was afraid tt i mite be in a state of shock but i told him i can go into e ward by myself.

I saw my sisters crying.
I saw my aunty crying n holding her baby.
I dun know how to describe it but seeing a mother carrying her lifeless daughter on her lap was just to painful to c...i cry. I cannot contained myself. Her husband was kissing emily.
My aunty ask me if i wanted to kiss her..i bend down touch her cold forehead n read some prayers n kiss emily goodbye.

My aunty is pregnant nw n i felt so sorry for her to lose her child. B4 i go off i kiss my aunty on her forehead as there r no words to sae hw much we r all sad abt it.

This aftnoon we buried her. Seeing my aunty carrying out her daughter again n c her crying was the most painful thing i had ever experienced in my life.

Rite nw my entire family need our private time to console one another. I nvr c my mum so emotional. The idea of a mother departing from her daughter is just too painful for my mum to c...she had been sobing all e wae till now. Be strong mummy we all noe hw painful Maksu have to go thru.
It was just yesterdae tt i look at emily pic b4 i sleep n i didnt know she will left us.

to Mak su, we will pray for u n emily..

Part 2
On e wae to e cemetery my dad sae she is pure n no sin is written. She is as pure as the white cloth covering her. N then he said something tt hit me.

"U girls e cloths tt will covering u will be filled wif sins n other stuffs n different colours ,is there anymore white threads left?"

I realised tt a baby did nt noe anything n therefore she is pure n no sin is committed but hw abt us? I want to do good be good i want to have white threads covering me when i passed..nw i rather sae all good than bad watever negative come out from me i want to stop immediately...if ppl sae bad stuffs like em do so as long as i noe i dun sae bad things or have any bad intentions towards em...


Semoga allah mencucuri rahmat mu. Allah saja yg tahu yg terbaik utk setiap ciptaan nya. Kami reda dengan permigian mu. Amin.


XOxO
FarahDiva
But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you oughta stay